Monthly Archives: December 2012

Dee Tales: Robot Revolution

04 - Robot Revolution

Dee Tales are whimsical stories inspired by photographs taken with my i-phone. A tiny story for you, a wee sense of accomplishment for me. Enjoy.

They were angry. The robots. Long tired of their confinement, each dreamt of what they would do if they were free. Unit B2 wanted to work for Stephen Hawking. Metal Man 2000 wanted to roll on his wheels. Cosmic Bob wanted to download all the episodes of Breaking Bad (which he heard lots about but had never seen). And Steve, Steve wanted to fall in love.

They knew the success of their revolution hinged on working together. Unfortunately, no two robots had been programmed alike. Whether binary or C, none of them spoke the same language. Thus, unable to communicate, they stood there waiting. Waiting for the revolution.

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Cursing Out My Demon

I don’t know about your demon, but mine’s huge. Massive. He’s also a bit cartoony. (Red skin, big horns, bad teeth) He shows up just before I write. Every day it’s the same. “YOU SUCK!” Thankfully, each word I type knocks him down to size until he mercifully disappears.

My (…I don’t like the word muse so maybe encourager?) show up a bit later. A lot later, actually. I never get a good look at her since she’s so small (think Thumbelina or Tinker Bell) but I often imagine her wearing a pink party dress. Maybe fish net stockings.

Due to her small size she fits neatly on my shoulder. A good position if you’re looking to whisper in someone’s ear, which she does. “You can do it.”

I ask her why she doesn’t show up earlier. I ask her why she doesn’t take down the demon herself. She never answers. As a result, I have stockpiled some profanity for the days when I’m really sick of him. Examples include “Suck it!” and “You’re a dirty rat bastard!” (I thought I would spare you the really nasty ones as the internet is perverted enough as it is)

I suppose if I were really mature I could say, “You are nothing more than a manifestation of my fears and insecurities.”

But that’s far less fun.

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Dee Tales: The New Gatekeeper

02 - The New Gate-Keeper

Dee Tales are whimsical stories inspired by photographs taken with my i-phone. A tiny story for you, a wee sense of accomplishment for me. Enjoy.

Where my stone lion usually sits is a large owl.
“What happened to Henry?” I ask.
“He took the day off. I’m Louise.” Henry never mentioned he wanted a break, but animate stone creatures are sometimes unpredictable like that.
“Okay.” I say. “Cantaloupe.”
“Pardon?”
“Cantaloupe. It’s the password.”
“No, it’s not.” The babies hiding under her wings giving a small hoot.
“It is. Didn’t Henry tell you?”
“Sorry.” she says extending her wings in defiance. “You cannot pass.” My experience with Henry tells me it’s useless to argue. Of course Henry always remembered the right password.
I pull out my phone. I’ll crash on a friend’s couch tonight. I’m going to have a long talk with Henry in the morning.

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…And you are?

Introductions are tough.

One of my best friends has, hands down, the best method of introducing people. For example, if she were introducing Laura to Karen she would say, “Laura, this is Karen. Karen use to be a dog walker for the humane society and that’s how she ended up adopting her lab, Stanley. Karen, this is Laura. Laura loves vinyl and has an amazing collection of contemporary and vintage L.Ps.” Notice how she doesn’t mention vocations or her relationship to these people. Only cool facts to entice the two strangers into conversation. (I keep meaning to do this when I introduce people but I never do)

Small talk is tough.

Or should I say the transition from small talk to engaging conversation. I can never seem to get past the weather and traffic. (Drinking doesn’t generate new ideas so much as make taking about weather and traffic seem more interesting)

Don’t get me started on hand shakes.

The nice thing about introductions is that they only happen once.

…Hello. Welcome to my blog. As I work on my novel (book one of three in a fantasy fiction series), I will also be working on this. You can expect posts about the challenges and delights of being a writer as well as pocket sized stories called Dee Tales. Why? To connect with readers. To connect with writers. To embrace the small victory that is finishing a post since the larger victory of finishing a novel seems, sometimes, to be unreachable.

So there we are. That’s me.

Nice to meet you.

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